


Kingdomino

by f4k34cc0un7



Category: Blaseball (Video Game)
Genre: I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Multi, Other, building sex, castlesub/apartmentdom, volcanism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-14 22:00:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29303085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/f4k34cc0un7/pseuds/f4k34cc0un7
Summary: Sigmund Castillo plans a night of fun with the New York Millennials' Apartment. Things heat up when another player enters the field.
Relationships: Sigmund Castillo/Mills Apartment/Washer Barajas
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	Kingdomino

It was a quiet night in New York, and the Millenials had gathered in their living room to watch The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. It was Solis's night to pick, and he had been on a Viggo Mortensen kick that was too cute for his teammates to pick on him for. The vague sense of The Apartment watching the movie with them was comforting, but it wasn't unexpected when it faded halfway through the movie. What _was_ unexpected was the scrape of drywall on brick as the view out the window rotated from the building opposite to the inside of the living room of the apartment next door.

“This again?!” asked their exasperated neighbor through the still-open window.

“I do apologize, very sorry to disturb you.” replied Thomas Dracaena, closing the window and lowering the shades. He shrugged at the team and they returned to watching the movie. The Apartment did what it wanted, and if it wanted them to have an interior window today, who were they to argue?

The sounds of Rohirrim charging across the plains covered further grinding noises as the other rooms in the apartment moved around.

* * *

Two thousand miles away, a magic circle was carved into a rocky butte just outside of Hellmouth, Utah. An incomprehensible series of letters surrounded a yellow crossing guard wand slammed into the stone. Nerd Pacheco stood by, nervously consulting a thick book on inter-dimensional travel as Sandoval Crossing and Sigmund Castillo looked on. Nerd stopped his consultation, put away his book, and carefully placed the materials he had gathered in specific locations on the circle. A half-eaten avocado, a chunk of brimstone, and a vial of acid placed just so, and the ritual was ready. Nerd stepped back, glanced at his teammates, and called out a phrase of ancient power, “Hey, I'm walkin' here!”

With a blue and pink burst of light, the air in front of them tore open and the sounds of New York City spilled out into the silent desert. A red brick wall faced the portal, the distinctive symbol of a phone with a script-font M painted on the surface.

Sandoval clapped Nerd on the shoulder. “Great job! I knew you had it in you. I never thought of using my crossing wand as a focus in a dimensional ritual, but I'm not the expert here.” He carefully reached behind the portal and retrieved the sign.

“I'm not an expert, Sandoval, I just read up on it. This hack will only last a few hours, it's not a full dimensional shift.”, Nerd replied. He turned to Sigmund. “You should be all set. The portal will stay open at least three hours, and it's fail safe against partially extruded objects. The magic circle is inert now, so you can scratch it out and it'll be fine.”

“THANK YOU BOTH. I'M PRETTY NERVOUS, YOU GUYS.”, Sigmund spoke into their minds.

“You've got nothing to worry about, Siggy. A fine piece of architecture like yourself? E's lucky to have some time with you.” Sandoval said, patting their front door affectionately. “The team will be back in the morning, so you've got yourself to yourself until then. Have fun!” Sandoval and Nerd walked off into the heat of the Hellmouth night.

Sigmund moved themself up to the open portal, bashfully exposing a thinner section of curtain wall to the portal, and sent a text.

* * *

  
HEY

THE PORTAL IS OPEN

I'M READY FOR YOU

PLEASE BE GENTLE

oh siggy babe

u kno i cant promise that <3 <3

* * *

there ready

hope ur close

Only a few miles away.

You should start without me.

Get them nice and ready. <3

u kno it

* * *

Patty Fox got up from the movie to go to the bathroom. She walked down the hall on an oddly circuitous route and found an empty wall where the bathroom should be. Frowning, she checked a few nearby rooms, but it was nowhere to be found. “Hey, where'd the bathroom go?” she asked, walking back into the living room.

Ren Hunter smiled, and said nothing.

* * *

Cracks spiderwebbed across the brick facade as a grinding thud sounded from behind the Mill's logo. The wall broke free as an entire room shifted outwards and through the portal. Slowly, carefully, the room extended into the open portal, stretching its edges as it tightly wrapped around the protruding building. Pipework scraped along the ground as the painted M brushed against Sigmund's wall. Fingers of individual bricks caressed against the stony wall, grinding into the gaps in the masonry. Deep within Sigmund's keep, a tea kettle began shrieking.

The Apartment stretched back, nearly crossing back through the portal, and beckoned Sigmund onward. They moved closer, barely inches from the rippling, snapping ring.

The two buildings remained motionless for a moment, gathering strength, before the brick and drywall shaft thrust hard against Sigmund's ramparts. The masonry cracked, but held. The castle groaned with stress and arousal. The Apartment retracted and extended again and again, slamming eir bathroom against Sigmund again and again until finally, with the sound of breaking stone and shattered masonry ey broke through into their privy.

The Apartment paused for a moment, savoring the feeling of being inside their favorite fortification, enjoying their fastness. Ey ground their walls against theirs, bringing another groan from the castle.

Soon, the Apartment resumed thrusting, unable to stop emself from thrusting through the far wall of Sigmund's privy, sending a rain of masonry through the halls. Sigmund shifted even closer to the portal, allowing em even deeper access to their corridors. The white of eir drywall was quickly stained with the gray of powdered stone as eir relentless assault continued. Doors all over the castle opened and closed as they lost control of themself. Again and again the Apartment thrust into Sigmund, until they could take no more. A pipe burst on the underside of the bathroom, flooding Sigmund with hard water.

The Apartment retracted a bit, allowing their water to spray across the outer surface of the castle momentarily before the break in the pipe repaired itself. The two buildings collected themselves for a moment, each basking in the feeling of being so close to another hot piece of architecture.

Sigmund was pulled from their blissful trance as they felt something beneath them. A transmutation was taking place below their dungeons, converting the sedimentary rock below them to silicon dioxide. As they felt a sense of pressure grow beneath them, they remembered another word for the rock forming beneath them.

Geyserite.

A shaft of water pierced through their dungeons and basement, bursting forth in a fifty-foot burst of acrid, volcanic water. Washer Barajas unleashed geyr boiling reservoirs across Sigmund's courtyard. At Washer's signal, the Apartment began it's assault on Sigmund's battlements anew. The castle shook from the highest tower to the bottom of their cistern, groaning with ecstasy as they were pierced from without and within.

Washer moved throughout the courtyard, spraying down Sigmund's internal walls with powerful bursts of water, tearing down their bunting and turning their neatly manicured lawn to acidic mud. The Apartment's continued assault shook loose a section of wall, giving Washer access to a new section of castle to soak.

A rumble from underground shook the castle once more as Washer redoubled geyr force, throwing water deep into the bowels of the castle. The acrid flow sloshed through Sigmund's halls, coating their insides with an astringent smell as it tore through the building. Soon, every room in Sigmund Castillo was soaked in the pungent fluid.

The sensations had become too much for Sigmund, and they felt a strange pressure inside their mind, growing stronger with each thrust and each flow. Just when they were at the breaking point, the residents of their west wing ran screaming, jumping out of windows and rappelling down Sigmund's walls, followed by a flock of pigeon gargoyles. The release Sigmund felt was unlike anything they had known before, and their high keep visibly sagged as they lost structural integrity.

The Apartment withdrew, pulling back out of the portal. A ruined hole was left behind in Sigmund's side, with a distinctive phone symbol now pressed into the far wall of their corridor.

Sigmund and Washer stayed together late into the night, playfully spraying each other into the morning before Washer bid farewell and took off north, back to Yellowstone.


End file.
